The Journey

 

Before I write anything I need to say my feet are on the ground and I know I still have a LONG road ahead of me, I know I will have to walk parts alone, I am happy in the knowledge I will have loved ones, friends and virtual friends on the journey with me

I came from a hellish Childhood, to a terrible teenage time, to becoming a terribly confused young Adult who was a Dad at 18, I was gifted a partner and a family as time moved on, I had it all. Aged 30 my life changed in more ways I can tell, but also came pain, depression, suicidal thoughts, and a lack of wanting to be better, I was popping prescription pills like they were sweeties (Candy in the USA) I was in a bad place, this was after I had this taken from me, I caved in, I gave up http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/06/08/the-football-story-i-never-told/ I was as good as gone

Then 8 months ago, after 18 months of writing this: http://www.broowaha.com/articles/17147/glasgow-celtic-start-league-campaign-with-2-1-win or similar, I stopped doing that and started to blog about me, just me, where I was in my mind, the pain, how I couldn’t cope, this was my first few blogs

http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2012/07/31/the-snooze-button-2/

http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2012/07/24/when-the-darkness-comes-2/

http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/other-people-2/

These were my reasons away back for starting to blog about me http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2012/07/11/hello-world-2/

I was doing 3 or 4 blogs a Month till January 2013 as I blogged here earlier, http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/08/27/official-1000-followers-here-are-my-badges-thank-you/

Now here I am, August 2013, the old me is gone, but the essence of the old me is returning, I can feel him, I am starting to have fun more, smile more, look forward more, anticipate things more, I found out at the Weekend my Mum is getting  Married early next year, things just started falling back into place in my mind, from the outside Dawn may see no change, but I do, and I guess Dawn does, I just am unsure what she see’s, we will talk about it, as she reads all these. I am in a good place, I have been for a while now, I have the odd day, I am a blessed man, living the life I want to live now, I want to be in no pain and do football, but anyone who followed my journey from the start will know I came to terms with that, so now I look forward to new challenges, new good things, challenges I may not even know about, I still want to do Radio, I want to improve as a writer by 100% at least, I am not a writer, I am just lad with a keyboard sharing his journey with a group of people who care, and I can only be thankful, I now want to help people who may be where I was once, this would make me happy, to pay it back, this is what life is about, giving back what you received

Like everyone here, I have issues, I have a journey, I am living it, but today I can say I am back in control, never again shall I blog this http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/08/04/no-human-should-have-to-live-like-this-so-unfair/ I have my mind back, I have to thank 1,000  people  (some more than others) People came and helped me walk through the door, or over the line to where I stand today. But as said, my feet are on the ground, the journey carries on, and I can’t wait, I am up for the challenge of what life will throw at me now. This didn’t happen today, this happened over many days and weeks, today I just felt it stronger than ever for some reason, and my mind is now mine again, I say that loosley though, as I am a Scottish man, we are a different breed of Men, complicated I would say, along the way here on Word Press I never made 1 enemy, people may have made me an enemy, but I can say hand on heart, I feel no hard feelings towards 1 person, everyone helped me, so now it is time to pay back, I need to visit YOU and speak to you, and I hope this is ok

I would like you thank you all for joining me on my journey as I approach my 1,000th blog

As always, my blog, my rules, I had to leave a song 🙂

For anyone who doesn’t know, I will leave this, as I gain so many followers, many don’t know http://deliberatedonkey.wordpress.com/2013/07/02/murder-and-more-through-the-eyes-of-a-child/ But really, life is good now, all better, we are all happy as we can be, this was another life, one I had no control over. but I do now, I can decide to let it be what it is, the past, if it causes me issues, then so be it, I would say 2 year ago, maybe less, I WAS A MESS, I was on twitter, and I was gone, I tried to hide it, but in reality the medication was in control of a body I didn’t like a mind I hated, but here I am, look what I did, look what I achieved, I could have given in, but as I sit and write this I am published here http://www.broowaha.com/ a featured writer and Editors pick, I really did this? lol

long-journey-home-bryan-dubreuiel

 

16 responses to “The Journey

  1. Thank you for sharing yourself so openly. Because you do, you give all of us permission to be ourselves, too. No hiding necessary. There is so much inspiration in this post. Great song, too!!

    • Thanks a lot. I think here we can open up and be ourselves. This is the ONLY place I post in this way. Elsewhere I am just posting and answering. This has become my little corner of the Internet I can just relax and speak what I want to..

      Thanks a lot. means a lot

  2. It is wonderful that the blogging community has helped you so much. Another thing to lay at the door of blogging. I have experienced the wonderful sense of community in blogging but your experience emphasizes it even more. Blogging is truly a social medium that helps us to really connect with people.

    • Since I came online in 1994 I have never seen a place like this, the blogging community is one of the most caring, trusting, honest communities on the net.
      And I am proud to be part of it, it fell on my lap JUST when I needed it.
      Well said Colline x

  3. This is brilliant. Writing your blog (and getting all the feedback from people) has really helped you to open up. Isn’t communication amazing? You actually may not know how totally inspiring your blog is. So, it has come back to you one thousandfold…and I am sure will continue to do so. I am so happy for you, and your lovely family!

    • Thank you Emma, I just have fun and blog stuff and help people and try and be decent. It the minimum we can do here…

      Thank you do much, that was very kind Emma..

    • Woo Hoo I have groupies 🙂
      Kim, in all the time I have been here you have been one person who has helped, who has kicked my butt, who has made me laugh, who has taken and given advice..
      And your Sons soccer has given us something to bond more over…

      For me, you are (As we say here in Scotland)

      “A wee diamond”
      lol
      wee = little 🙂 x

  4. So glad i found you, you are always so inspiring even when you are down and the best part is that it’s contagious…:D

    • I think when we are down we say what is truly on our mind and in our hearts. This blog was just me saying “The Journey has been something” lol
      I woke up to life, I got my mind back, pain is still there, but it is like a re-awakening..

      Knowing my luck I will “Get there” And WWIII Will start..

      lol…Shouldn’t laugh
      But I must 🙂

  5. Well done BH you are on a roll 🙂 Yay to opening yourself up and being so involved in WP (or should I say the people on) Yay to Broowaha and just simply yay to you for finding days out of your pain by writing and inspiring others. 😀 x

    • Let me say it is people like you that carried me on my journey sometimes and believed in me, also kicked my back side when needed. I am a a bit of a rebel, and sometimes you have been there, but also been there to say nice things. WP is a terrific family to be involved in, and you all helped me, I arrived here a confused lad in pain and suffering badly, I sit here today better for what has came before me. So as always, I pay homage to you all 😉
      x

    • Thank you for reminding me, I will get to it NOW. Can you PLEASE email me where I need to send it. I will do it the second Dawn gets back from picking Courtney up from nursery in 10 minutes..Promise.. x

    • Ditto, as I said above many have helped me from Day one, you were one who did. You didn’t judge or make things worse by confusing things, you stayed a friend. You know my thoughts on you Patty..x Huge

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