None of us are ever alone, truly alone

 

As I sit here in mild agony listening to Bryan Adams sipping on a cup of warm tea I made 20 minutes ago. It is 03:30, yet another night up alone, in pain, feeling a bit down and just wishing I had a normal sleeping pattern, “dream on big guy” I hear back in my mind from a voice I don’t recognise

See we were born to live and be around others, lately I have felt alone in a busy room, yesterday I was sitting here typing something, can’t remember what, and my son was standing speaking to me, then walked away, I broke my concentration to say “What? Sorry, did you say something” for Dawn to say, he was talking to you. That hurt me a LOT

See I don’t mean to be ignorant, I don’t mean to ignore people, the pain is sometimes that strong I have to turn parts off and just go with what I am doing. It is an skill I taught myself a while back, it helps me forget the pain, I just turn off a part in my brain, don’t ask what part and just do what I am doing, typing, writing, listening to music, watching TV

Then it dawned on my “Do I do this all the time” I hope I don’t, if I do what do my family think, do they think I have lost my marbles? My mind is the last thing I have that I can control, and I am just taking the pain away. This night I feel alone, as I type this everyone is sleeping, the window is open as it is hot and all I can see is tree’s, or the shadows from the trees, part of me when I typed that shat it, but I am hot, so the window stays open, it is like a scene from the Blair Witch Project my view, you do get used to it

So, if you read that above, and you are alone, you are not now, as Shaun is here alone also, we can be alone together, never be alone, if you are, write about it, don’t feel alone, you have choice, when I realised I had choice, things changed I guess, the only thing that stayed the same was the pain, I can block it out a bit, but if I stop to think about it, it hurts, it burns, it is almost alive inside me like another person dictating my thoughts, this is how I have got used to dealing with pain, looking at is as friend, should I do different and call it enemy, then it beats me, so friend it is. Even just typing that the pain spiked, but what should I do? Give in, or go on? I choose to go on 😉 x

In the meantime, we can be lost together

Shaun x

Morphine worked, for a while, lesbians, zombies and being alone

So I am still in bed, I woke up, time is 21:12 as I type, I have no idea what time I took the Morphine, the pain in my ankle was so bad and I was so tired being up 35 hours. I slept 1/2/3/4 hours? I have no idea. My body feels like it’s had a good night’s sleep. One of the benefits of living with Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain, an added bonus we will call it. Last thing I remember was writing that blog below about a hedge for some reason 🙂 The Morphine kicked in mid-blog

So here I am, in bed, dog is at my feet on her doggy blanket (On the bed) Laptop to my left on the Laptop stand, wide awake, hungry, unaware of who is in the house or if anyone is in the house, only think I know is the Dog is here. And all you, how did you all get in? I can’t hear any noise past my bedroom door, but my house is as long as a Football field, there COULD be a party with Lesbians and all sorts in the Livingroom…

Hmmmm And here I am blogging. Might go check, limp through to find an empty dark room. The time suggests the kids are asleep and Dawn has fallen asleep with the girls in the big bed, not the cot, that  would be silly. Maybe she is in the livingroom, with the lesbians. See all men’s fantasy are Lesbian sex, it is and don’t DARE deny it!! But knowing girls as I do, this below is the harsh reality of Lesbianism guys, Sorry

Trust me I live with a pretty girl, ex model, THIS is the reality of Lesbians, sorry to break it to you lads. And before I get punched, I am only having fun with it and perhaps I am still high from the PRESCRIBED Morphine? I don’t know, really, I feel asleep, it was light outside, sounded busy, awoke and it is like the start of the movie 28 days! very quiet! I am scared to leave my room now in-case I meet a zombie in the hallway, and it’s my son or something and I have to smash the brains. See this is the ONLY way to kill a  Zombie, smash the brain. I seen it on Shaun of the Dead with Simon Peg, Mock up of Dawn of the Dead, really funny movie. So yeah, brains, go for the brains. Not the lesbians, the zombies, just so we are clear on that.

Anyway I need to pee REAL bad, I may pee out the window, FEAR DOES THESE THINGS TO PEOPLE YOU KNOW. Lesbians or Zombies. what will it be?

Wish me luck Word Press, if you never hear from me again, 1 of 2 things happened.

1. I was killed by a Zombie and have became one

2. It was Lesbians and I died of being over excited (Although I have seen some stuff in my time) Still, it may kill me all the same.

Also, anyone heard of “Abandonment Issues” No? ok, you are in a REAL busy shopping center/mall and you lose who you are with and panic? You have “Abandonment Issues” it is meant to be shit. So maybe I have been abandoned?

So, Zombies, Abandoned or Lesbians. 1 in 3 chance of heaven, 2 in 3 chance of death and or worry

We will see…..

Over and out

Before I leave my room, if I see this is my main room, I will faint and be eaten, just giving you all a heads up. Thanks

Hmm or maybe I have been abandoned! And I see this (Well kind of this)

But with luck, I see this..

Two real nice girls there.

I should go now and face my fate like a man!