Sharing the Caring

 

 

Blog number 1,001 here, I wanted to make this blog number 1,000 and forgot, but the one after 1,000 is good enough

I arrived here around 8 months ago as you can see with the picture below, I was ill, my head wasn’t right, I wasn’t doing football, I was doing very little, I was an ill man, in the head and in my body

When it all started, I had no clue back then

I then started to blog about me, then slowly about others and then to other things, out of this world things, ANYTHING to take my mind away from the pain, I just had to write, be me good bad or indifferent I don’t care, never have, I just know writing helps me, Dawn knows that also, she misses me hugging her in bed more than I was, she misses me hugging her watching a movie as much as we used to, but we still do, just not as much

I have over 100 blogs and things I have wrote unpublished I just need to write, I need to open my mind to the possibilities of living and what comes with it, what makes us live, and also what brings my pain, I try and remain happy, smile, I do a lot of fun blogs, I do REALLY try my best to get to others blogs, it is so hard for me

So for my 1,0001th blog I need to say thank you for allowing me to share my caring side. I always had one, I just could never know where and when I could share it, I mean away from my own home. Here on Word Press you took me in, accepted me for what and who I am, I helped others when I could, I tried SO HARD to bring light to our darkness, and I hope I can sit here today an say I did, you be the judge.

One thing I have learnt, or taught myself is that sharing helps, caring helps, giving a shit really does help. I have always had this caring side, even when I was not allowed to have these feelings, we are going back to when I was a bad boy here, I didn’t want to be doing harm, I wanted to help, I went against my SOUL sometimes, my inner thoughts were being trashed by things I didn’t like myself for.

So just to sum up, Share the Care, it helps me, and I know it helps others

Here is to 2,000 blogs, and I pray when I hit 2,000 blogs my pain will be less

Share the care and give a shit, you will feel your heart open up, I know it, I seen it x

Shaun

To parents who have lost a child, I send my love, my heart

Dean (21) on the left, with his Brother Ryan (19)

I didn’t sleep too well last night due to physical pain, so I sat and read some blogs; I got followed by http://grannyscolorful.wordpress.com/ who lost her son Tommy way too early

I then got linked into more Mothers, I sat crying, reading story after story, loss after loss, knowing I could not help, knowing my heavy heart was just that, a heavy heart.  The picture above is my two sons Dean (21) and Ryan (19) I was a Father at 18, I am just turned 40 years old, and I also have two Daughters Courtney (4) and Chloe (3)

My son Dean suffers from Seizueres, last November he lay Dead in the Dr’s room, his Heart stopped by a seizure, he lived, for that moment, 2 minutes till the Ambulance men came, my worst fears were there, my oldest boy had gone, thoughts of “How do I tell Dawn” his Mum were coming to my mind. He has had 4 now, he takes Epilim now, but every times the phone rings and he is out, my heart skips a beat, t his had hapened before, this was the first time I had been there to share his pain, and I am glad I was

I am wiping tears away from my eyes still for all you parents who lost, who’s kids never made it back, if I had just one wish, truly, you know what I would wish for, being selfish has never been my way, helping with words and caring and trying have, I am sorry for you all, I will be your friend if you allow me, a person who may be able to make you smile, or a person you can cry to and with, this is what I do, this is my calling in life, I feel I must, It just feels right

My soul is empty from reading the loss, my heart is heavy from feeling the pain, my eyes are blurry for  wanting to help, my mind is gone and I am struggling for words, but I must, each of you lost and I hurt, when I came to Word Press I had been here a few months and I read Tersia @ http://tersiaburger.com/  about Vic, I read it with my Partner Dawn we both cuddled and cried because we care

I am sending you all love if you read this, I need to let you know I care, but my words may not help, but after reading I had to achnowledge, I had to let you know I can be a friend when you need one, here are my two Daughter who light up my day when the pain and darkness come, my princess’s

Courtney (4) and Chloe (3)

More love

Less hate

Shaun x 

I say this is at the end of many of my blogs because the more love we share, the better our world is, I believe so

 

So let’s debate pain

Pain arrives to us all, everyone, like a thief in the night right?

Pain arrives in many differing forms, from body pain to grieving pain, one thing is sure, it hurts badly whatever for you have it, with my pain I just let it hit me, I gave up trying to beat it so just allowed it in and accepted it, not everyone is able to do that, but over time we must, or bad things happen

But what about other pain, pain of losing a loved one for example, my Aunt died 2 months ago, few month before my Uncle, it brought pain in many ways, I won’t explain, but this kind of pain can make people say and do things they would not usually say or do

The pain of finding out someone has, say, Cancer in your family can hit hard, I remember when my brother was told he had six months to live, it hit me like a train, this was many years ago now, he is still alive, he is my hero, the way he refused to allow this to eat him and destroy him was just amazing and one day, God showed me what a miracle was, he woke up one morning and the cancer had gone, he was down to 6 stone in weight

My nephew is in one of Scotland’s toughest prisons doing a long time for accidental murder to his friend, a kid I knew who’s like my nephew took, the jury seen it was an accident, as did the judge, but the issue surrounding why it happened in the first place was the reason he got so long in prison, this brought pain I had never felt before, I was his favourite uncle, and I was always trying to get him to change his path as I knew he would be killed or jailed, in the end, he lived, a friend died, so that was  pain

Another pain is watching your kids grow up and not being able to join in as normal Dads do, I can’t give my kids horseback rides or throw them in the air, and that brings pain and guilt, but I am here, we draw, do painting and puzzles, but this is a form of pain yeah? It is for me because of my pain

For me another pain is watching people you love suffer, my Mum suffers pain of her body and pain due to me, I don’t mean it, I remind her of my Dad perhaps, she scars are still there from the Childhood I had and the memories we both had to go through, if you have not read, please, feel free, this is my story, more pain http://deliberatedonkey.wordpress.com/2013/07/02/murder-and-more-through-the-eyes-of-a-child/ people think I am a nice guy, and I am, but this was not always the case, once not so long ago I seen pain every day, I can’t go into detail, but this causes me pain now, pain is a cycle, one pain can bring on another pain, the circle of life they say

What pain have you had to take? What pain do you live with? Please, share, let it out, it will do you no good keeping it locked up, so please, use this blog to share, if we do, this may happen

More love less hate

Shaun x

I love you, words easily said

 

Eight letter three words one meaning, I love you, words that have been uttered or spoken or wrote about for centuries, what do they mean, how can we use logic to determine if they are real

I hear it a lot from Dawn and my 2 daughters but “I love you, Daddy” are words that just pierce the heart and make me want to cry, should or could 3 year old and 4 year old girls really know what love it, or is it just a saying they know means something

When a loved one says it, it means something, but it gets said either a lot or not enough, simple words “I love you” When I speak to my Mum or my Dad at the end of the call or a visit, whatever, I say “I love you” and I mean it of course, but how many times in life have we been in a position to say this and not said it only to regretted it later?

I say it often and whenever I can, they are easy to say, try it “I love you” Many couples I know live together and almost hate each other, these words are uttered only on valentine’s day, so who says Valentine’s day can’t be every day

I liken in to Christmas, the weeks leading up to Christmas people are nice, they hold doors open for you, help you if you drop something, people are just nice, the spirit of Christmas I believe it is called, so who says that spirit, that essence of caring can’t be used the whole year round?

Like valentine’s day, we shower our loved one with presents, chocolates and flowers, we have been tricked by a world that wants money into ONLY showing love on that day, what if we decided everyday was a day of love, every day was a day we helped others, WOW, what a world we would have

Being a person or a people who care and love and show love and say “I love you” all year round, not just on 2 days or times of the year, I think, sorry, I hope this could happen, I wish it could be a universal thing, something that comes natural all the year round  in all the years for all of time

I love you, Eight letter three words one meaning, what a wonderful world we would have, who wouldn’t want to be part of that world, where “days we must spend money” are days we show love, show it every day, help people every day. This world is defined and run by us the people, so we should set the rules, why do we only show these feelings at special times? I guess this needs discussion

I love you

Eight Letters

We became the parade on the streets that we once cleaned,
Expendable soldiers smiling at anything
Raised on a feeling our lives will have meaning eventually

We were once the answer and then you discover
Your actually just one thing after another and
What was the question and why was the lesson so deafening.

This all that matters now
And that was all that happened anyhow
You can look back but don’t stare
Maybe I can love you out of there
And when I went away what I forgot to say was
All I have to say eight letter three words one meaning

And outside forces didn’t make it easy so I thought I’d go before you leave me
Self preservation was no explanation for anything
Oh but the truth is more than we’ll ever comprehend I’ve just started to understand my friend all of that distance cause I fell in love with the enemy

This all that matters now
And that was all that happened anyhow
You can look back but don’t stare
Maybe I can love you out of there
And when I went away what I forgot to say was all I had to say eight letter three words one meaning
At last we meet on no man’s land just footprints in the sand
We meet on no man’s land at last
And when I went away what I forgot to say was all I had to say 8 letters 3 words one meaning
One meaning, just one meaning, one meaning.

Straight from the Heart

For SOOO long now I have wanted to post this version of this song, and I couldn’t. So I downloaded it from You Tube and hosted it myself. I was going to post it in a blog to say thank youu to you all for “Just being there” So here it is, better late than never I guess. From my heart to yours, straight there…

More love

Less hate

Shaun

ps: Note to the right of this I have a  Media player installed, every day I add a new song, I added this today..

Thank you Dawn x

 

I have done this once before, but I this is my blog and I am doing it again. To a Woman who just loves, cares and never judges. She is there for her kids and me. This is here job, this is how she see’s it. She never moans or gets annoyed or angry. She just “Loves” and helps. I wish I didn’t have to be like this, as she helps me too much, but that is what love is. We are not Married. Anyone on Facebook will see Dawn’s 2nd name, she is half Swedish, but born in the UK. Point I am making, we made the commitment and we see it through. That piece of paper means a lot to many, to Dawn and I, it means “A piece of paper” We love, we made the commitment, we had a family and we are happy.

Love you more x

Mother’s Inspirational Video of Blind Baby Boy – DARE YOU NOT TO CRY

 

PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO WORD PRESS

In life people can be cruel, we prejudge, we mock and laugh, as a species we can sometimes be ashamed of ourselves.

I came to blog for many reasons, and one was to show love and compassion and open people’s hearts up to the truth that is love, just love with no other message. I try to inject love into the world with love, music, words and stories like this. This video had me in tears. My 21 year old son walked into the room crying and said “You will want to blog this” I said, go for it. I watched this 7 minute video and was CHOCKED 2 minutes in. The love this woman shows for her kid is real, unconditional and proves we don’t abort a Child if the child is not healthy

You be the judge, show live, show humility, humanity and a bit of love, as you do so well Word Press, I dare you not to cry.

For Baby Christian x

FC Feyenoord players/fans unite in tribute to dying fan

Rooie Marck sadly passed days after this heart wrenching display of humility

FEYENOORD FC  (Holland) fan Rooie Marck’s dying wish was to see his team in action one last time, but he didn’t expect the reception that awaited him at the De Kuip Stadium.

FOR lifelong Feyenoord fanatic Rooie Marck it was already a dream come true, the chance to see his heroes in the flesh one last time.

Diagnosed with terminal cancer and given just days to live, his friends arranged a special visit to one of the club’s pre-season training sessions with Rooie the guest of honour, going into the De Kuip Stadium on his hospital bed.

What he didn’t expect was the incredible welcome that awaited him.

Thousands of the club’s fans had packed into the ground behind one of the goals and lit flares and sang his name before unveiling a banner in his honour.

They then joined in a chorus of ‘You’ll never Walk Alone’ as the first team players, led by manager Ronald Koeman, went across to meet him.

Completely overwhelmed, Rooie then goes across to thank his fellow supporters.

Tragically he passed away just days after the visit, which was filmed by his friends. To watch the footage, click on the player below

 

 

 

I have seen many wonderful things happen in Football in my life, this has to be up there with the best, touching, amazing, and singing “you’ll never walk alone” is a BIG thing in Europe, 10/10 for Feyenoord here for this, to grant a person’s dying wish to see his players and sing with his fans moments/days before his passing is an amazing thing. RIP Rooie Marck

 

Mother hears 8 year old son’s voice for the first time ever – I cried (2 MINUTE VIDEO, PLEASE WATCH)

2 minute video

 

This was posted to me by my 21 year old son, who came  through to the main room and he watched it with me, an we both cried, me and my son. Watching this should be a reminder to us all of things that are truly important. This is just outrageous and amazing. Some in the USA may know this story, if not, know what love is, give it a watch x

What the kid says at the end of this 2 minute video got me, got me good

 

More Love, Less Hate

Shaun x

 

Just have to share this AMAZING picture -Bob Marley

This was posted as thanks to me Awarding http://selahvita.wordpress.com and she posted this AMAZING picture,  I just had to share, AMAZING! Thank you so much for sharing this picture with me and Word Press, I fell in love with it and the song below just came to mind. Shaun