Are These Images Proof of Real Time Travel?

**EDIT** I have to thank Rob Schwarz for the credit here. I seen the blog elsewhere and added a few video’s of my own, so I guess Rob should get the credit. When I said it took me 2 hours, it it did in terms of putting it together, going through the links, linking them up and adding my own links. I got a brilliant Email from Rob and I would like to say thank’s to Rob for this. The blog was sent to me a while back and it kinda sat there and I went over all the info, double and triple checked sources, I added Rob’s links to show it is where most of the info came from. To call it my own would be unfair, but I did but a lot into doing the blog at 5AM almost unable to type due to pain, so thanks again Rob, I have no issue in saying the blog was his, but online we do get a LOT of things from searching, like the things I added all the links  http://www.strangerdimensions.com throughout the blog are Robs **EDIT** 

THIS BLOG TOOK ME 2 HOURS!! PLEASE, SOME FEEDBACK!

Anyone who knows me will know time travel “Is my thing” I have studied John Titor, Andrew Basiago and the pictures showing that seem to show famous people in our past. The thing with time travel, if it was being used a lot and screwing with time, to say, Germany winning/losing WWII none of us would know. Unless you are in the time field of the Einstein Rosen Bridge (Matter field)  I am 50/50 but this has had me since I was 5 years old. When back to the future came out, it was a WOW moment for me. As usual, do your own research, is an Einstein Rosen Bridge possible, the fabric of time opened up at a point of origin? I say yes, not because I want it to happen, string theory alone suggest time can bend, so you never know.

Enjoy the journey through time with me will you

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a problem.

Apparently,no one is willing to follow proper time travel etiquette. Time travellers are leaving proof of their escapades everywhere!

Well, the best I can do is keep track of these temporal anomalies. What follows are a series of images that many claim are evidence that time travel has already occurred, and that visitors from the future have mingled with cultures throughout history.

Join me as I explore these temporal tears in the fabric of the universe. The fate of the space-time continuum depends on it.

Evidence of time travel in Chinese tomb?

Our first stop on this temporal disaster is China.

In December 2008, Chinese archaeologists allegedly removed the opening of a giant coffin within what was believed to be an undisturbed, 400-year old Si Qing tomb in Shangsi County.

As they removed the soil around the coffin, however, they were shocked and amazed to find this:

A small piece of metal shaped like a watch, with the time frozen at 10:06.

“Swiss” was engraved on the back. Explain this and I will delete the blog. For me, this is the BEST evidence yet

If the tomb was truly undisturbed for 400 years, what could explain the existence of this modern artifact?

Only one thing: an absent-minded time traveler!

Virtual Museum Photo: Time traveler caught on camera?

Oh, well this is just great.

The above photo turned up on the Virtual Museum of Canada website, an online repository of “Canada’s rich history and culture.” It’s said to be of the reopening of the South Fork Bridge in the early 1940s in Gold Bridge, B.C., Canada. The event certainly drew a crowd.

But in the photo, someone doesn’t belong.

Who is this strange individual, seemingly out of place — modern attire and all — in what would otherwise be a perfectly ordinary gathering? Is he from the future? Fancy goggles, coat and branded t-shirt. I mean, this is what happens when you let hipsters play with your time machine.

They visit the opening of a bridge.

Woman on Cell Phone in 1928?

The above video contains a short clip taken from a special feature on the DVD version of Charlie Chaplin’s film, The Circus. In it, we see a relatively mundane shot from the film’s premiere at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in 1928. Two individuals walk across the screen behind a zebra.

But that’s not the strange part.

Look closer. What’s that woman holding to her ear?

A cell phone? A pan-dimensional communication device? That’s Time Travel 101, folks: no cell phones!

Woman on Cell Phone in 1938?

Oh, but we can’t stop there.

In this excerpt we see footage of a crowd of people exiting a DuPont factory in Massachusettsas sometime in 1938. Click here to view the original uncut footage.

In the video, one woman is clearly seen holding another cell phone up to her ear.

Listen, time travelers: you can’t take futuristic devices into the past. Because someone will find it, film it, and post it on YouTube. That’s just how it goes.

Andrew D. Basiago’s Trip To Gettysburg?

This singular image is courtesy Andrew D. Basiago, who allegedly took part in DARPA’s top secret government operation Project Pegasus back in the 1970s. Well, I suppose “top secret” is a relative term these days. I studied this for like a MONTH and watched a 3 hour presentation by Basiago, he seems legit, but!

The photograph is said to have been taken during one of Basiago’s temporal trips, during which he found himself at Gettysburg on the very day of Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, November 19, 1863.

Basiago claims to be the young boy at center-left.

Says Basiago,

“I am the boy standing in the foreground of the image at center-left, looking to his right. My shoes were lost in the transit through the quantum plenum that took me from the plasma confinement chamber at the time lab in East Hanover, NJ in 1972 to Gettysburg, PA on the day that Abraham Lincoln gave his famous address there in 1863.”

Of course, Basiago has other stories to tell. In fact, he claims President Barack Obama traveled to Mars in the 1980s >. http://www.strangerdimensions.com/2012/01/05/has-president-obama-traveled-to-mars/

Rudolph Fentz, A Victim of Time?

Are we supposed to believe that a man named Rudolph Fentz vanished in 1876, only to reappear 74 years later in New York City?

Maybe.

As the legend goes, Rudolph Fentz materialized on a busy New York street in 1950, only to be hit by a passing car, his mysterious temporal voyage ending in an instant.

Police investigations then led one captain on a strange journey of his own — proof that time travel is possible, and sometimes fatal.

http://www.strangerdimensions.com/2011/09/19/the-extraordinary-voyage-of-rudolph-fentz/

While the Rudoplh Fentz story appears in Jack Finney’s About Time: 12 Short Stories, it has often been repeated as legitimate evidence of time travel. Many claim, without hesitation, that the Fentz story is based on factual events, and Finney was simply relaying it years later, in fictional form.

I can’t argue with that logic.

John Titor, the Time Traveler From 2036?

John Titor, I spent a year on, I read all his blogs here, http://www.johntitor.com/ captured the imaginations of forum-goers in a way no other alleged time travellers ever could, mostly by spilling the beans on how his time machine worked, sharing photos and schematics, and answering everybody’s questions. If you want to read more, A whole section devoted to his antics. http://www.strangerdimensions.com/tag/john-titor/ here also

It’s entertaining stuff, and many consider the information he shared to be some of the most compelling time travel evidence out there. Even if it is ripping a hole in the fabric of space and time.

A Compact Disc Case in the 1800s?

Allegedly, this painting was created sometime in the 1800s, and appears to be of a man holding what looks like a fancy CD box. At least, that’s what they say.

The earliest form of plastic wasn’t invented until the mid-1800s, and (obviously) Compact Discs weren’t in use until the 1980s. Leaving us with a single conclusion: this box is no mere box, but rather the container for some kind of time-bending wormhole device.

HDR: The “Real” Time Machine?

Designed by Steven Gibbs in 1985, the HDR, or Hyper Dimensional Resonator, is said to allow its user to astrally travel through space and time (via naturally-occurring interdimensional vortices).

Some on the Internet claim to have successfully used the device to visit the future. Allegedly, Gibbs was given the designs/inspiration for the HDR by two aliens and/or time travelers named… Paco and Pedro. Sounds legit.

The above image clearly highlights the machine’s “rubbing plate,” “wishing well” (into which you place your crystals), and a handful of knobs and switches. For more on this peculiar invention, head on over to a post The “Real” Time Machine. http://www.strangerdimensions.com/2012/12/29/the-real-time-machine/

A Time Portal Under The Kitchen Sink?

In 2006, a Swedish man named Håkan Nordkvist thought it would be a good idea to climb under his sink and momentarily travel to the year 2042. He even met his older self and took a video of their (his) matching tattoos, seen above. Check out Did This Man Find A Wormhole Under His Kitchen Sink?  http://www.strangerdimensions.com/2012/03/06/did-this-man-find-a-wormhole-under-his-kitchen-sink/ to read more, if you dare. This is actually FUCKING AMAZING! Watch the link above here ^ ^

At any rate, here’s a quick warning for any potential kitchen-based time travellers out there: if you or someone you know find a wormhole under your sink, do not attempt to crawl into it. The paperwork involved afterwards is ridiculous.

What did you say? The Håkan Nordkvist story was viral marketing for an insurance company? If that’s a veiled criticism of my time travel evidence, I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it.

Time Traveling Celebrities?

Next, here’s an photograph taken in Harlem back in 1939. Nothing out of the ordinary, no, except for rapper Jay-Z just kind of hanging out there. No big deal.

Jay-Z, Nicholas Cage, Keanu Reeves — all celebrities who have no problem riding the timelines without a care in the world. If you want to see more photos of their temporal journeys and reckless disregard for the arrow of time, check this post Top 5 Celebrity Time Travelers. http://www.strangerdimensions.com/2013/05/23/top-5-celebrity-time-travelers/

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Okay, well. Perhaps the space-time continuum is safe, after all.

Is time travel possible? At the end of the day, it’s all just a bunch of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey…stuff. Best not to take it too seriously.

Anyway, please leave your thoughts in the comments below, particularly if you have any other proof of time travel to report.

Also be sure to check out photographer Flora Borsi’s faux time travel photo gallery. http://www.strangerdimensions.com/2013/05/02/flora-borsi-time-travels-snaps-shots-with-elvis-marilyn-monroe/ Luckily, her photos aren’t real (so she says) and pose no threat to our worldline. They do look strangely familiar, though. Here she is with Marilyn Monroe:

Just to really get you going..Check these 3 videos 🙂 The 1st one you WILL watch over and over and over, it was all over the news in China

And this one!

And

Back to the Future Trilogy Movies

To my disgust (Not really) I realised the last few days not everyone is aware of what is MOST DEFINITELY the best movie series ever made

Back to the Future with Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd

A teenager is accidentally sent 30 years into the past in a time-traveling DeLorean invented by his friend, Dr. Emmett Brown, and must make sure his high-school-age parents unite in order to save his own existence. Marty McFly (Michael J Fox) and Christopher Lloyd (Doc Brown) take us on a 3 movie journey in a time machine made from a DeLorean. I grew up with these movies, I was 13 when the 1st one came to the Cinema. I am HUGE on Time Travel as an adult, and these movies made me a curious adults around time travel, even today. Amazing movies, 1,2 and 3, the story line is amazing, the action is fun. If you have not seen these, go please see them. I have the special metal box Blue-ray disk set. Below are the trailers for all 3 movies, and some pictures, I even have the game for my new PC. You are MISSING badly if you have not seen these, just saying

Back to the future 1

Back to the future 2

Back to the future 3

Images:

Morphine wins the day, Good night troops

Well I have been awake 35 hours or so, I think (feels like it) I have broken or fractures my right ankle for the 8th time, it’s swollen and went blue. I don’t even go to the hospital no more. I just stick on one of these  for a few weeks.

I have just taken 5mg of Morphine, the pain is UNREAL, so this is “Goodnight” from me. Been a hoot of a day here, kids playing the drums with 15 saucepans was brilliant for the old ear drums, But this is sore. And unfair, and I guess it pisses me off sometimes. I say I just get on with it, and I do, but this second, right now, as I type, just before the Morphine bangs me on the back of the head, I thought I would say goodnight. Pain is just not right, I find it shit that I can’t get a run of time with no pain. I got 2 weeks last month, and I was thankful for it, really was. But I went over on my ankle talking the dog to the back garden, on a stone! oh lucky me 🙂 So before the Morphine kicks in, just to say, you are all amazing people. If I could hug you all, I would hug about 843 of you, just saying, but I am only joking

Well the Morphine is kicking in here, so I am going before this turns into a novel.

Cya’s on the B side

More love, Less hate

Don’t hate each other, love each other, be nice, never gossip, people who gossip are hiding their shortcomings or issues, I learnt that from a pamphlet I found in a hedge may I add, so don’t believe it, it just made sense. Not the hedge, the pamphlet about gossips I mean, I think 

ok, the Morphine has kicked in, I am going to bed to stare at the wall

Catch!!

ps: READ THE TAGS BELOW, THEY MAKE SENSE TO ME RIGHT NOW, SAME AS THIS VERY IMPORTANT PICTURE ABOVE! 

60 of the world’s happiest facts

 

1. A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.

2. If you fake laugh long enough you’ll start to really laugh, really, really hard.

3. The book cover to the prize winning short story collection, Spellbound, was chosen because author, Joel Willans, bought his wife’s engagement ring with poker winnings.

4. The Beatles used the word “love” 613 times throughout their career.

5. These websites exist.

6. Every year, millions of trees grow thanks to squirrels forgetting where they buried their nuts.

7. On the day of his assassination, Martin Luther King Jr. had a pillow-fight in his motel room.

8. The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We’re all made of star dust.

9. Cancer death rates are down 20% in past 20 years.

10. The miles travelled by the Apollo 11 crew to the moon were greater than every single exploration mission to the New World combined.

11. Penguins only have one mate their entire life and “propose” by giving their mate a pebble.

12. There’s an animal called a Dik Dik. And it’s the cutest antelope you’ll ever see.

13. Despite high infant mortality rates and lower life expectancies, not one of your direct ancestors died childless.

14. Cuddling releases Oxytocin which helps speed healing and recovery from physical wounds.

15. Otters hold hands when sleeping so they don’t drift away from each other.

16. Apollo 17 astronaut Gene Cernan, the last man to walk on the Moon, wrote his daughter initials there. They’ll last at least 50,000 years.

17. There’s a type of jellyfish that lives forever.

18. Wayne Allwine (the voice of Mickey Mouse) and Russi Taylor (the voice of Minnie Mouse) were married in real life.

19. We now have less crime, a lower death rate and longer life expectancy than at any other time in human history.

20. The clitoris has 8000 nerve fibres, double that of the penis, and is the only organ in the body, which has evolved purely for pleasure.

21. Butterflies can taste with their feet.

22. For someone, somewhere in the world, today is the most amazing day of their life.

23. When you die, your body decomposes, and the atoms that contained “you” are recycled into Earth to be used again.

24. Every year the Netherlands sends 20,000 tulip bulbs to Canada to thank them for their aid in the Second World War.

25. Rats giggle when you tickle them. Their voices are so high-pitched you need special equipment to hear them, but when you do, their laughs are immediately evident.

26. Sea horses mate for life, are completely faithful and travel together by holding on to each others tails.

27. The guy at the end of this video was born.

28. If you say “my cocaine” you sound like Michael Caine saying his own name.

29. Male puppies, when playing with female puppies, will intentionally let the female win.

30. The next Star Wars will not be directed by George Lucas.

31. It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.

32.The kingdom of Bhutan use ‘gross national happiness’ as a key national indicator.

33. The majority of European children born in 2013 will live to see the year 2100.

34. Cows have best friends.

35. Neurologically speaking, seeing somebody else smile actually makes you happier.

36. Every human being spent about half an hour as a single cell.

37. There are people, ombrophiles, who have a passionate love for rain.

38. Once your brain realizes that you’re dying, it releases DMT, one of the most powerful known psychedelics. This dilates your perception of time and allowing you to live inside your own mind for hours or even days.

39. No matter how long you live there will always be an amazing new food for you try.

40. A group of porcupines is called a prickle.

41. Aside from a sample in a lab, Smallpox is completely extinct. No one else will ever die from it again.

42. A pig’s orgasms last thirty minutes.

43. We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born.

44. Sloths only leave their tree once a week, to pee and poo.

45. Spinner dolphins sleep in pairs, one with the left hemisphere asleep, the other with the right. They each keep watch with one eye and half a brain. They are known to sleep-mate for life.

46. At the time of your birth, you were, for a few seconds, the youngest person on the planet.

47. Cows produce the most milk when listening to the song Everybody Hurts by REM.

48. Somewhere, someone is losing their virginity right now.

49. If you spell out numbers in order, the first time you get to the letter “a” is at one-thousand.

50. We’ve all been here forever. Every bit of matter we see has been here since the beginning of time and it always will be.

51. A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.

52. Happiness is a skill. You can learn it and it’s not hard.

53. Except when breeding, the Common Swift spend their entire lives in the air, living on the insects they catch in flight. They drink, feed, and often mate and sleep on the wing

54. Baby rabbits are called kittens.

55. Baby puffins are called pufflings.

56. Costa Rica is statistically the happiest nation on Earth.

57. Worms communicate by snuggling.

58. 2013 is the first year since 1987 that consists for four different digits.

59. With our horseless carriages, flying robots, space travel, long-distance communication at the speed of light, cloning, lasers, connection to people all over the world, we are living in the future people dreamed of.

60. If you blend a sea sponge, it will re-form back into a sea sponge.

45 Life Lessons, written by a 90 year old

 

The thoughts of a 90 year old person fascinate me, they lived in a different World than we do now. They lived in a world where in WWII if a man could not go and fight for his country, he would talk his own life out of guilt. That is a different world right there. When there were morals and kids were disciplined and knew their place. I could go on. But to read 45 things from a 90 year old is an  eye opener. I hope you enjoyed as much as I did

 

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Photos taken in the past that show us the future

Dear Photograph,
I visited Maine again for the first time since we were young in 1966 – that’s me in the middle. Being here again made my heart swell…I didn’t want to leave ,because I felt you there with me Mom. We miss you so much.

 

Dear Photograph,
It’s been over 30 years since that Christmas. Both Papa and Grandma passed on only a few years after this was taken near their home.  I miss them, terribly.
Elizabeth

 

Dear Photograph,
This was your home for over 50 years, new people live there now but to me it will always be Nan’s House. Love & miss you Nan.
Penny

 

Dear Photograph,
Today, after 29 years, I have been back to the house I was born in. My Dad died suddenly 3 weeks ago..only 56 years old..Ive been on a trip down memory lane today, revisiting the churches we were christened in, and the house I was born in. I stood outside our old house and took this photo.
Rebecca

 

 

Dear Photograph,
Welcoming a new addition.
Anonymous

Dear Photograph,
I’ve always loved the spotlight, and my sister is always right behind me cheering me on.
Braeden

Dear Photograph,
20 years on, my mother still looks as beautiful 🙂
Kortni

 

Dear Photograph,
This memory was 56 years, 6 kids, 14 Grandchildren and 1 Great Grandchild ago…
Daniel

 

 

Dear Photograph,
My mom was someone who always enjoyed the goofy things with me. She made everything magic and more fun, and we made traditions of these things just her and me – like going to the rubber ducky race in Clinton every July. It’s been almost two years since she has been gone and this was my first year at the race without her. I have missed her a lot, but what I miss most is having her around to do the fun stuff that only we would enjoy. I feel like these things just aren’t as special without her to share them with. I just hope that someday if I have kids I can make things as special for them as she did for me.
Victoria, New Jersey

 

 

Dear Photograph,
Some things you never outgrow…I leave for art school in one month.
Tressa

 

 

Dear Photograph,
Twenty years later and my mom still doesn’t have her dream kitchen.
Love, Jill

 

Dear Photograph,
It was the “Blizzard of ‘96,” just after my 13th birthday. That’s me on the left, with a neighborhood friend and my younger brother. We had off of school for a week; every day we went sledding, ate soup and played video games. It was the greatest week of my life.
Jon

Dear Photograph,
I loved that bike. Raleigh Burner. The best summer ever and great memories. I cycle to work everyday, but I have stopped the wheelies! Thanks Mum and Dad.
Love Haydn

 

How good? I loved these, with the messages left by loved ones also. The Kitchen one was funny. The internet is JUST AMAZING if you look around it..

As you can all see I been doing photo’s a lot lately, my pain is shallow still, so I guess I am seeing things I didn’t before?

 

Shaun

**NO LIKES HERE** – HOW ARE YOU FEELING THIS DAY, TODAY, YES YOU!?

 

 

Right, about 10 people, you know who you are “Like” EVERYTHING I blog but have never uttered one word or discussed or debated a THING with me

So here is a simple question “How are you today?”

This is for EVERYONE, Leave a reply please, tell us all how you are today, or in general. How is life, any issues, any gossip, how are the neighbours, the kids, your pet? Anything

HOW ARE YOU? 

To Sleep or not to Sleep, that is not the question

Tonight as I sat with one eye opened trying to write my 2^nd guest blog of the day as I am very famous and in such demand, it dawned on me as I sat there.

I am an idiot. It was one of those profound moments when you “Just know” it comes to you like a headache in the shower with soap in your eyes. I fell asleep for an hour at my Kitchen table half way through replying to someone on Facebook. I woke up when I heard Dawn say “Are you awake”

Yeah the same kind of question you ask to a lion “Are you Hungry” as you sit next to it. I have a strange existence me. I am SHATTERED right now but this throbbing pulse from my left knee is like getting ice cream thrown down the back of your t-shirt, it just is annoying

Strange it is, tonight I feel I could just go to bed and crash “sleep” very easily but I can’t as the Ice Cream feeling is hitting me. There is no ice cream; I am using the ice cream as a metaphor for something that keeps me awake.

I could have used the “A cat taking a shit on my face” but I didn’t want to lower the tone you see, I mean I am a nice person, and the last thing I want to be speaking about is cats taking a shit on my face. It smacks of desperation for seeking attention, and this man-child here is not the kind of lad to say things to get attention, it is just not my style. I have never had a cat have a jobby on my face, although I have had a cat pee in my football boots once, I went to football and I was mortified, as people were looking at me as if I had just taken a shit myself in their Mothers handbags due to the cat pee smell. Anyone who knows me well knows I am not the kind of guy to even make funny jokes like this; they lack taste and a certain respect towards my friends Mothers and their hand bags. And I am a GOOD friend.

The worst think I have even done to a friend was spit in a condom and leave it in his jacket pocket a week before he got married, he got beaten slightly, but once I owned up I then got beaten slightly also, and told never to visit again, and I wish I could, I left my watch at their house 😦

See life is all about respect, like respect for Dolphins, as a species, I do not feel us humans show enough respect to the Dolphin. I knew a brilliant Dolphin once called Gary, he was BRILLIANT at Golf, he had a handicap I think it was 9, not bad for a Dolphin.

Anyway, we need to respect things more in this world. Even Spiders and bee’s, I am not saying we should respect wasps as they are just nasty bastards. Bees give us honey and Spiders help keep fly movement down in the home.

Life is all about respect people. We should think about this more often, my friend Keith below is respectful of all things and likes to find things out for himself. I respect him for it, he challenges life to the MAX you know, when things need done, KEITH IS THERE! No messing around, no fake stuff, no farting about, he just gets the job done

The Day Shaun Shit His Pants – Making myself and others laugh, through our pain..

As it seems I have offended someone here, can I just say, this would be A-Typical Scottish House Party humour… Hawkeye who replied is from here, he  got it 🙂

Well here goes….

I am about to give you a cracking reason to have a brilliant laugh at me. I will share a story, horrible story, a story that keeps me awake, a story that scares me, a story only a handful know and are sworn to secrecy that tight their life DEPENDS on saying nothing to nobody.

So I ask you don’t tell anyone either, I am ashamed and I get laughed at for it, keep this between us!

You see. I am a man, you probably noticed, or had a “Rough idea”

And in life, I am a what is called a Practical Joker, or as experts call us “Pains in the arse/ass” I now have to accommodate my writing for the American friends I have lol

I had “HAD” This fun thing I used to, I thought it was fun, Miss Shaun, we could say, she didn’t actually see the funny side to what for me was, the best thing in the world, seconded only by Peter Griffin and the TV Show Family Guy, that I love so much

Anyway one of “Many” stupid things I do, or did in some cases, was. If  Miss Shaun and I were in a queue together at the shops, I would fart really loud, whist reading a paper, then slowly look at Miss Shaun in disgust. Basically to get everyone in every queue to think or believe Miss Shaun had farted.

When we got home I would usually get attacked or promised at least one full night on the couch. Often I was given the choice. I did love that couch I must say..

So one day, out of the 100 goofy things I would do, I thought “Loud Fart, Miss Shaun hates me time” ps: We did laugh about it after, 2 or 3 days.

Anyway, this day, we were at a busy Asda/Wall mart, HUGE shop, a proper “Weekly shopping” Shop. As most will know, this is called Asda her and dear!! very dear! £$£$

This day the shop was busy, it was quiet also, all you could really here is the “Ping” of things getting scanned on the bar code machines and people moving groceries/footd from trolley to conveyor belt.

So this was “My Chance” I did my usual, I got a magazine, a paper, a pamphlet on Scooby Doo DVD’s anything and read it, while reading I waited till it was REAL QUIET and I did a loud but DIFFERENT fart. I can’t emphasise the word “DIFFERENT” enough here. I was very different. In-fact it was that different I could feel it’s horrid warmth run down the back of my left leg.  I looked at Miss Shaun funny, she gave me her “Wait till you get home look” And I gave her another look. She looked puzzled for a second, the leaned in and said “You ok” At this stage panic set in. Badly. I whispered “I shat myself” she said “WHAT” loader actually than that. I whispered into her ear “Sweat Heart, I have shat myself”

…………..

…………..I have never seen a woman hit the floor so quick and laugh as hard as she did in my life!

She was POORLESS, the poor woman, I could see her try to hide it, but this was years of pay back,  laugher. There was pride, a self assured sense in this laugh. We had to do the rest of the shopping while she laughed and I had to tuck my trousers into my socks and walk knees together 😦 . The smell was also starting to smell more than a fart, I could see people out the corner of my eye checking their shoe, to see if they had stood in a dog shit, and it was bad I won’t lie to you. So we finished shopping and I remembered something REALLY IMPORTANT. I had the car! Yeah I had to sit in my own shit! Miss Shaun at this point had her window down in the car and was crying in tears, all the way home she just looked at me and laughed, in-fact she laughed all the way home, all the way from the car to the front door and all the way till I got clean clothes and walked in for a shower. Yeah she was laughing. To make things worse, over the laughter I could hear her phone PING every 10 seconds, she had been texting all her friends and my two sons and anyone else that might laugh at this. I was mortified people!  People were texting back laughing at me. I was a laughing stock every Friday for months after that. Even today I get a knowing look from Miss Shaun, almost as if she wants to laugh THAT HARD again

The day Shaun Shit Himself