**NO LIKES HERE** – HOW ARE YOU FEELING THIS DAY, TODAY, YES YOU!?

 

 

Right, about 10 people, you know who you are “Like” EVERYTHING I blog but have never uttered one word or discussed or debated a THING with me

So here is a simple question “How are you today?”

This is for EVERYONE, Leave a reply please, tell us all how you are today, or in general. How is life, any issues, any gossip, how are the neighbours, the kids, your pet? Anything

HOW ARE YOU? 

Losing three loved ones in a week.

Confused

Disappointed

Disgusted

Head f*ck

Lost

Hurt

Used

Emotional

Abuse

Toyed with

Emotionally scarred

Crying

Angry                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Spiteful

Dishonest

Unknown

Unfair

Ended

Life

Love

 

When the one person in your life you REALLY think is there for you turns on you, time and time again, you take it , then take it again, then again. Then you stand up and say, no more. Confusion is buzzing around my mind right now, and this is why I am glad I have this blog page. I won’t name names, the evil person who did this will know. And I am not taking that word back.

 

When you truly have a person in your life that is you’re EVERYTHING to then be told, or to understand they didn’t want you, or knew nothing about you hurts more than the pain I suffer 24/7. Today I lost a family member, not just any family member, someone I trusted with my life. They don’t live in my home. They lived in my Heart. I tried to walk on egg shells with them for almost 25 years of my life, and today this person closed the door on my face and made me say things I don’t mean

 

If only this person knew how much I love, I care, I want to be there, I want to try, I was trying, and maybe things would be better. Today I learnt that helping people you love can sometimes create problems that shock you and confuse you. There is no reasoning with this person, as this person is lost, this person has been lost since they were around 15 years old, they need to realise this. My mind can make me say things I don’t mean. But the sad fact is people I know on here know me better than the person I lost today, a person I craved to be there for, to love and help, but I guess I failed

 

My life is my life, this is just a blog, where like others we scrutinise things and try and make sense of our world and the people in it. Today was hard, hardest day of my life. But sadly others will be hurting also, as I won’t open that door again. I am just confused, you get asked to “Change” and I tried to help, and it wasn’t good enough. I realised many years ago it would end like this, but I won’t allow my 2 daughters to be hurt. I was told “I am not right in the head” or words to that effect, sadly that said this perhaps is the one who is not right in the head.  For this person, in the position they were in, in my life, to act like they have to me, being in the position I am in, is just disgraceful. People in their position should never do this to a person who is what I was to them, or should have been to them. It escapes my heart and soul to understand what happened today, I guess I truly can’t put my mind to that place. Trying to get this person to understand the DAMAGE that was done to me as a kid has led me to be the disabled person I am today was impossible, funnily enough, someone else did get it, and always says sorry about it and cried. This person however has no heart; no person in this position should ever put a person in my position through this.

 

Life is unfair; this blog is ONLY my thoughts in a moment. Many friends I have here, people I have known 6 months know more about me than this person. I had to delete blogs today because of a confused person also. This other person either meant to do what they did, or just is as evil as the person who taught them in life

 

I can honestly say I have never been so upset, so down, so sore, and in a week where my Aunt is to be laid to rest. I can’t now go to this funeral. So I am the bad guy, as usual. But shit happens eh. This is life. This person told me when I was 16 “Life is depressing and awful” or words to that effect. I know this person will read this. If this person had a heart, a sorry should be coming my way.

Today I did nothing wrong, and lost so much it is untrue.

 

But you know what, life is good, I was almost tricked into thinking it wasn’t. I live in pain, so do millions, I get depressed, so do Billions. I blog, so do 10’s of thousands. I breathe, we all do. I will see tomorrow, so will billions more.

Today I learnt the best lesson life has taught me, I can’t see it right now, but it will. The door has closed, it was never fully open, but today, I can say “It’s done” The person made it happen. The person forgot their responsibility to me.

I will do what I have always done; I will look after the people in my house, and say…

More love, less hate