I miss my Dad

My Dad, aged 66! 

 

The Man in the picture above is my Father, my best mate, my soul mate (In Scotland, soul mates don’t mean lovers or partners) he is my phone call when I need to make on, he is there when I am down, he is there when I am happy, he allows me to cry when I am sad

I will never see him again, my Daughters will never know “Gaga” as all the other 10 Grand Kids call him, still some are aged 20+ they call him Gaga. Circumstances out of both our control mean we can’t see each other ever again. I cry about it, whe speak every day on the phone for hours, we speak about everything, we speak about the past when he was the main man in Edinburgh and ran the City in his Criminal empire, we talk about how now he fosters kids and how he is no longer an angry man, this was my Dad when he was bad lad.

You just didn’t fuck with him, strangers who did, paid. Wrong, he knows it now. But the way it was..

I said to him a few weeks ago “Your anger was just misplaced passion” He started to cry, he is a strong man, he is Hundreds of miles away on an Island, away out the way of society, a society he once ruled and owned. He still would kill, i know he would. Should someone hurt me, my Brothers of Sisters, or the Grandkids or our Partners, he would pick the phone up and get someone murdered. I am guess of course, and perhaps joking, but he still holds this Authority in Edinburgh.

He was well known, but your average man on the street didn’t know him, he was VERY CLEVER, he let idiots do his work and make his money back 30/40/50 years ago. He never brought trouble to our home apart from the trouble he caused. Logic (I hate that word) should tell me to hate him, but He is happy and Mother is happy, so life and people have moved on. He showered me with love, I was his youngest Son, big thigns were expected from me and I left the family to chase my love for Dawn and my Football dream.

http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/06/25/my-greatest-story-of-love-the-woman-who-saved-my-life/

http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/06/08/the-football-story-i-never-told/

Had I been anyone else I would not have been allowed to walk away, this is the rule. He said at the time “You go take on the World” He said other things, he was almost hurt, but he didn’t want me to be him, as I was trying to be, so I think deep down he was happy I choose another path that didn’t lead to blood or jail.

I just need to tell the World about a man I love so much, I pine for in my life, I won’t see again, my Son’s know and miss him, my Daughter will know about him when they are older. He is 67 fit as a fiddle, still looks 50 year old, people call him Peter Pan, and in the Photo above you can see why. I am his double people say, but he is my Dad. I have to avoid people to this day because I am his son, but being his son gives me 24/7 protection in my daily life (Hard to explain and I won’t)

Patrick @ http://pifuk67.wordpress.com once posted this for his Dad, Patrick I hope I can post this, I know you won’t mind.

This is for you Dad “Auld Yin, Old One” as we call him 🙂

My  love for you will never leave this body, you made me who I am by allowing me to move on, I am thankful for your advice and you allowing me to walk. And for being an amazing Gaga to my sons and for loving Dawn also. I miss you Dad…

Just one last things, 2 year ago, we all visited..

My Dad, he took me a 10 mile walk a few years back, nearly killed me!

 

My take on Awards

 

 

I have been blogging for almost 15 months now, 11 months on Word Press for a Sports site. I have had this personal site since July 2012 and I never used it much, a few blogs a month. Then I got bored blogging Sport and wanted to blog about my personal life, so I did

I changed the URL early January 2013 and since I have not looked back, here is a list of blogs I have done each month, as you can see I didn’t really start till January this year

Blog Archives:

• April 2013 (135)
• March 2013 (84)
• February 2013 (67)
• January 2013 (23)
• December 2012 (9)
• November 2012 (5)
• October 2012 (4)
• September 2012 (8)
• August 2012 (7)
• July 2012 (5)

 

Up until around January of this year, I had done under 40 blogs in 6 months, since January this year I have done 309 blogs in 4 months, I think that works out what? 3 a day on average

So here I sit now, 350 blogs done, 309 with a purpose, still learning to write, even put my hand at poetry and I have 53 Awards. I have 3 or 4 some more, of the same Award, but each award is from 53 different people, each one unique in itself to me

So 53 people have thought of me, my blog and given me an award

I find the awards fun to do, when I receive one, I do it right away, or as soon as I can, because if someone has taken 20/30 minutes to do an award, I feel it is only right I give back. Awards for me are a fun but appreciative side to Word Press, I thank everyone that has given me an award

I find these days I am doing as many Award blogs as I am “Shaun” or “Normal life blogs” But I really don’t mind, at the moment I have the time, when I re-start football, I will still make the time, I will still blog every day, I have the bug to write

One thing I can’t get my stupid head around is, why have I got 53 awards in 4 months? I know many will say “You deserve them” or “You are helpful” or “You are a nice person who helps” etc, etc but that is just my nature.

I had a quick look there and I have given 500+ awards to other people unless my Maths are rotten and stupid. Basically when you get an award, you generally award 10 people on average, so 53 Awards x 10 people  = 530 people?

I have met some AMAZING people on here and with each passing day, and week I meet more and more again. I speak to about 50 or so, on Skype some most nights, some once a week, some once a month, some just type chat, and we always have a laugh. I think fun is the Key here, being nice, being honest, telling it how it is and NOT arguing. I have been involved in one online argument with one group of people in my 19 years online, so that is good going. I Learn only recently, never argue online, it is a waste of good font 🙂

Thank you to everyone for being my friend, for reading my blogs, for allowing me to read yours, for touching my heart, making me laugh, making me cry, touching my heart and changing my soul. With Word Press I found a community of people who at the very least pretend to get on with people. I can see sometimes people may argue, but it never ends up one, this is why Word Press is such a great place.

 

Thank you to you all, I love you all like Family I will never meet. And I will say this again about the award I created:

 

Made by myself on the 4th of March 2013

 

This is an award for everyone who is part of the “Word Press Family” I start this award on the basis that the WordPress family has taken me in, and showed me love and a caring side only WordPress can. The way people take a second to be nice, to answer a question and not make things a competition amazes me here. I know I have been given many awards, but I wanted to leave my own legacy on here by creating my own award, as many have done before. This represents “Family” we never meet, but are there for us as family. It is my honour to start this award

x

 

 

 

UK man wins court case against the BBC for 9/11 cover up!

Why did the BBC report it had fallen, when it hadn’t at this time?

Daily Mail: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2284337/TV-licence-evader-refused-pay-BBC-covered-facts-9-11.html

News Story:

Tony Rooke refused to pay a TV license fee because the BBC intentionally misrepresented facts about the 9/11 attacks, he alleged. It is widely known that the BBC reported the collapse of World Trade Center Building 7 over 20 minutes before it occurred. WTC 7 was a 47-story skyscraper that was not hit by a plane on 9/11 but collapsed at free-fall speed later that day.

So Rooke said the BBC had to have had prior knowledge to a terror attack making them complicit in the attack. He presented the BBC footage to the judge along with a slew of other evidence, and the judge agreed that Rooke had a reasonable case to protest. Rooke was found not guilty and he was not fined for failure to pay the licensing fee.

This is what we pay in the UK just for the BBC!! I pay £81 for SKY TV and used to pay this.In the United Kingdom and the Crown Dependencies, any household watching or recording live television transmissions as they are being broadcast (terrestrial, satellite, cable, or internet) is required to hold a television licence. Since 1 April 2010 the annual licence fee has been £145.50 for colour and £49.00 for black and white. Income from the licence is primarily used to fund the television, radio and online services of the BBC. Total levies from the licence fee were £3.681 billion in 2011–12 of which £588.4 million or 16.0% was provided by the Government through concessions for those over the age of 75. Thus, the licence fee made up the bulk of the BBC’s total income of £5.086 billion in 2011-2012

This man went up against the BBC at the biggest court in my land, over 9/11 and WON! Anyone who thought 9/11 was “Suspect” now has something to hang onto here. The families of the dead from 9/11 want the truth http://www.911truth.org/

I think this is a landmark case, and could cause ripples over in the USA now.If we can’t believe one aspect of the official story, it is then hard to believe the entire story. Many in the States think it was an inside job, and the ♫ 9/11 was an inside job ♪ really came to life. All this man did was refuse to pay his TV Licence on the pretence that the Media lied to him about the events on 9/11 and he won, the Judge sided with him

Interesting times ahead for sure. This is BIG news here in the UK today, the word Conspiracy will be used, and people will turn away, as usual.

Everything said RIP to everyone who died that day, this won’t re-open fresh wounds as most of the families of the dead believe the official story to be a lie, we at least know the BBC lied.

All I am doing here is blogging news that is fairly big today.

Love and God, my story

 

 

 

Love is love, we love people, they love us back, and that really should be it, yeah? God is there should we choose yeah?

Well I wanted to do this blog on Love and God for a few reasons. I think as a species many of us take love for granted. We know and accept love from others, but do we truly understand love and God? Some will say they do, I am not sure, read on, you be the judge

From my 38 years on this blue globe I have been lucky, I have a massive family and love was always there, taken for granted maybe. Many of my family including myself have been sharing pictures from family from as far back as the 1800’s but also from the last decade or so, and some have left us on Facebook, it brings back tears and smiles

When I look at a picture of my Gran or my Aunt or my Uncle who have left us, I look back and think “They told me they loved me” and then I think “Did I truly love them back” I do this often

So it brings me to the point of this blog. We all have family many miles away, in another country, or many miles away, I do. And the very last thing I say is “I love you” one letter and two small words that take a second to say. Do we say this often enough? From my point of view no, I do, but I know many who don’t, people rush about in our world, caught up in moments and forget to say these words. So I say them, so I can never live in regret at not saying this simple quick phrase

I will give you an example. Katie, my Nana died 15 year or so ago now, and I used to go to her home every night to check she was ok, lock the door etc as I lived near, the last night I went I did not say “I love you” the next night I failed to go and visit her, something got my attention and I just did not go. She died that night. This is the Photo of her in the afternoon before she died. This was the day after Boxing Day; she was at my Uncles house.

 

She was looking at my Cousin here, with love in her eyes

 

This was her last picture, and I remember standing at the funeral in bits saying to myself “Why did you not go and visit you idiot” I really hated myself and was beating myself up. Then one day, years after, a family member put it different context for me, one I had not thought about. This family member said “Had you visited that night, you would have been the one to find her dead, and she would not have wanted that for her Grandchild”  And in an instant I felt the pain turn from, pain to love and a weight came off my shoulders in an instant

I would have been the one to find her in the hallway, dead. Was there divine intervention here? Was it made so that a younger Shaun would not find her? I often ask myself this, and this is the second story I had to share in my “Quest for God” in my life. I already shared the other story about my two kids before they were to go on their first holiday away from me and their Mother (Miss Shaun) I was so worried for them, this was 10 years ago, they were children, I looked to the sky and asked God to look after them, then as I looked at a small portion of a very big sky, 2 shooting stars flashed past my eyesight. Out of this BIG HUGE dark night sky, just where I was looking, these 2 shooting stars flashed before me. I thought “My god” at the time and presumed this was from God, and from that to day to this, I know this is where my interest in God and TRUE love started. I loved, yeah, but this gave me new insight into real love

So love is an easy thing to say, but do we take it for granted? We can easily turn on the nightly news and look at the world and say “How can this be love” But I often say this “An individual act of kindness” and I say it often. One person at a time, one individual at a time, we can change our ways and love more. And perhaps mean it more. I love my Kids, and my heart hurts when theirs do. I know this as real love. Love that hurts as I care so much, am I the same with an Aunt or an Uncle? I don’t know. My brothers and sisters I love, but to this extent? I don’t know, all I know is I love them.

Love is a topic that I could talk and debate about all day long. My two stories I shared above drew me to god. And there were NO OTHER reasons I could think for these events to happen with my Gran and my Kids. Not finding my Gran dead and the two shooting stars

Was this an individual act of love and help from god? Or was it just chance? Twice? I find that hard to believe

Love and guidance to you all

Shaun x

*AUDIO/VISUAL BLOG* On Religion. Please watch.

 

**EDIT**

 

I needed to give this a quick edit for a fairly good reason. I need to reaffirm what I was saying in the Audio a bit more. When it comes to Religion and God, if 10 is all knowing, and 1 is not knowing at all, I about 3, and I am being generous. For anyone that watched this Storyboard Audio, I talked mainly about my own Country and what I have seen. Scotland is a great City, but like many, we have an issue, who doesn’t. Listening over again myself and speaking to some friends from all over who listened to this, they realise this was just me speaking out loud about something I desire to know more about. I said many times in the blog “If I am wrong, comment, tell me, be honest” I have not even opened the door to enlightenment, or to even walk the path, in the grand scheme of things. I believe in God in a personal way for me. I am WELL AWARE this won’t get me into heaven as told by religions people who know better than I, or are more educated than I. The problems in my country do centre around two Soccer clubs as I said. I also said in the Video Catholics “Seem” to get a raw deal in Scotland and I spoke about the Polish Goalkeeper and what he went through. In my eyes, that is just hatred, from people who CLAIM to go to church, and this is where my confusion comes from in part. The season before last the Celtic Manager, Catholic team were discriminated against badly on many fronts, the manager of the team Neil Lennon was attacked by a supported inside a ground, IN MY CITY!!

Check:

What you see is a wee ginger haired man who had been attacked with a punch, by our media and from all sides. Listen to what he says. The Celtic fans stood by him, without anger or a return of any of the same to the opposite half. The statement on the banner “We are all Neil Lennon” means “All Catholics are Neil Lennon”  They identified with his struggle to be unable to do his job. So they identified with him. People die in the West of Scotland in the name of this. Many I speak to from all over the world can’t believe this happens, I showed them some kinks, they believed me, google away if you must, please

The blog below, without the above involved was just me talking, my views, my ignorance perhaps, but I said so MANY times. Something I won’t do is “DENY IGNORANCE” I could not do this. I was and still am ignorant to God, Jesus and religion due to lack of education. Something I am trying so hard to fix. This is why I did the blog. It is an Audio blog, for those that did not want to listen to me mumble on for 40 minutes, I am typing, so you can get a feel for how I feel about it looking back. I have good friends and family, and they spoke to me about this Audio Storyboard I did below. Some said “This is your opinions, big deal” one or two said it was “Misguided” some said it was good, they could relate. Can I just say, if you REALLY listen, I never once said I was Guided, lol. This was not me preaching to anyone, this was MY TAKE ON HATE. And a lot of it through religion, through sport, why? Because it is all I know. It is what I was born into, and what I seen. As for my thoughts on Jesus being a “Ghandi” type figure, AGAIN, and I said it in the Audio, it is what I think. How can someone who has never grasped any of this have an opinion that is going to fit with general thinking or the bible? Answer, I can’t. So, me saying what I did, I stand by. But I don’t want people to get upset, I don’t know. I am guessing, but an educated guess, I am giving my interpretation to something I am told about, have read about, but only in small amounts. The last thing I would want to do is upset anyone. But I guess with all the Wars over God, people are already upset. Why? I don’t know. Maybe a religious person can explain that one? Why does 93% of the world believes in God, yet we have Wars all over. Name a country not in War, at War on in Civil war of some form and you will struggle. This was for people who listened, or may listen. So before you listen, please try and understand by Ignorance, but please understand I am not denying my ignorance.

If I am the worst man on Earth for doing this blog, then I am right, the world is wrong and something is wrong with it. Hate, War, Greed, Evil is there for all to see, and this was and is what confuses me. So instead of listening and not replying, or saying something to yourself and not to the blog, PLEASE!!! Comment, give me your understanding, your viewpoint. Because that is all it will be, like mine, no living man, woman or child can say 100% I am right or wrong. Faith can make a person say something, I know this. Logic “I love this word” is something I think many miss out on with religion, not all. Look at the Middle East. The birth place of religion, it is war torn. The place where Jesus was born has bombings and terrorists. All I am saying is, I don’t understand this. I only did this edit after listening back to it myself. I stand by all I say. And please, understand what my country is like, people die in the West of Scotland in the name of God, and I can’t get my thinking around that. Thanks, Shaun 🙂

 

**EDIT OVER**

I have blogged about God, Jesus and Religion for a while now. I thought I would do an Audio blog. As I talk I put pictures up about things in my country you may not be aware off. Kind of like a story board as I talk. I am serious as I can be here. I mean no disrespect. As I journey for God and Religion, I done this blog, hoping to stimulate debate. I ask you PLEASE listen. it is 40 minutes, but if you love God, you may enjoy the  the Audio and my debate.

Please let me know if you listened, and please, again, I mean no disrespect, I only ask questions and fill in some blanks of my own. It is long as I say, but I really hope people listen, and debate,  teach me, let me know better if I am wrong. School me. I would appreciate feedback.

This man has helped me so much, http://bishoptatro.wordpress.com/  The Heart of Rev. Eddie Tatro I mention him in he video. This video tells a story of my religious path, as well as the one in my country. May I add, my good friend Eddie is a brilliant man, and I hope he can help me make sense of what confuses me. Hate and God in the same sentence? I get lost in translation

I mean no disrespect to anyone, any religion, any country, even my own. I just search. So if there are religious people out there who like to help people understand, please, step forward, if you can, if you have the time, if you have the knowledge. I speak to man religious people, and the messages are always mixed from one to another, sometimes the same religion.

Respect, love and peace.

Shaun

To the Woman of my dreams, I love you x

My Partner when she was a model. 4/5 years ago now

My life is brilliant.My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I’m sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won’t lose no sleep on that,
‘Cause I’ve got a plan.You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was
Fucking high
And I don’t think that I’ll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last ’til the end.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you
It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do
I’d never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you
I’d never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you

No I don’t want to fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
No I don’t want to fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
With you
With you (this girl is only gonna break your heart)

What a wicked game you played to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do to make me dream of you

And I don’t want to fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
No I don’t want to fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
With you

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you
It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do
I’d never dreamed that I’d love somebody like you
I’d never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you

No I don’t want to fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
No I don’t want to fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
With you (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
With you (this girl is only gonna break your heart)

No I…(this girl is only gonna break your heart)
(This girl is only gonna break your heart)

The Rock in my life