Before anyone gets all Biblical on my ass, We have Asda Walmart in the UK, There are just no picture…ok, lets do this…….
It has its OWN Website! http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
![2-dollar-bj-epic-win_thumb[1]](http://prayingforoneday.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/2-dollar-bj-epic-win_thumb1.jpg)
WTF ^ ^
^^oh for the love of god! ^^^
back boobs? I am scared! ^ ^
Really? ^ ^
OH WOMAN YOU DIDN’T! ^ ^
YOU ALL SEE THIS? ^ ^ ^
THIS WOMAN? ABOVE HAS A PENIS! 😦
No wonder it has it’s OWN Website !! ^ ^ ^
Awww come on!!! ^ ^ ^
DUDE..REALLY? ^ ^
**EDIT** I did this blog because of this http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/08/03/my-pain-came-back/ I am a dick, I know. Pain is hard. Sorry
As I say often, it is ALWAYS in the Lyrics 🙂 Hey… x I have said countless times I “LOVE” this place, and I do. But since this event http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/07/07/i-get-hit-on-my-a-woman-on-word-press-i-say-no-and-i-am-the-bastard-help-please/ many have stopped visiting my blog This is no big deal, just sad for them to do it on the say so of one person. I come in peace, I come to care, I come to share, I come with love, I came to reach out and hope someone reached back, and you did, I can only thank you, this one person blogs them, them, and more them, all them, they break marriages, I DON’T But I checked today, since that event, a lot of people stopped following me and still are, on the say so of one person. All lies, vicious lies, untrue lies. I am being made out to be some kind of womaniser. Dawn will read this, she reads all my blogs. I know not spoke to her about it, as it really is no big deal. But for one person, a liar, to spread lies I am a womaniser is just so wrong. If you are a Woman and you feel I have hit on you or been dirty with you, or bee out of line with you, PLEASE, Say here, I am asking, saying please and begging. If I have been hitting on you, as a woman, please say so now, right here, right now, all I ask The person spreading the lies I am told has hit on guys before, yet as I say in the blog above, I became the bastard. The nanosecond this Woman hit on me I replied “I will be the bastard here” And here I am. Yeah I have 60,000 views and over 1,000 followers BIG FUCKING DEAL! I AM JUST SURPISED ANYONE WOULD FOLLOW A NOBODY FROM SCOTLAND! So am I angry, no, will I move on, oh yeah. See I am hardly here anyway, if I am up all night I use this place, same as 20 others to vent, share, be nice, and just be a fucking human being you know. The world is full of shit We are smart individually but like a Zombie collectively. Can anybody explain this? I will think it over for a few days and if I feel this person is making people turn away from my blog, I close the blog and keep blogging where I am in 2 other places. I love many here; I have made MANY friends here, friends for life. But I am nobody’s side show, if things in my life become “Testing” I walk away with a smile, I don’t sit around all day every day moaning about some shit that happened months ago, I move on, I think YOU FUCKING NEED TO ALSO MRS! If I have hit on ANY Woman here, say so now and I will go More love Less hate Shaun
My Dad, aged 66!
The Man in the picture above is my Father, my best mate, my soul mate (In Scotland, soul mates don’t mean lovers or partners) he is my phone call when I need to make on, he is there when I am down, he is there when I am happy, he allows me to cry when I am sad
I will never see him again, my Daughters will never know “Gaga” as all the other 10 Grand Kids call him, still some are aged 20+ they call him Gaga. Circumstances out of both our control mean we can’t see each other ever again. I cry about it, whe speak every day on the phone for hours, we speak about everything, we speak about the past when he was the main man in Edinburgh and ran the City in his Criminal empire, we talk about how now he fosters kids and how he is no longer an angry man, this was my Dad when he was bad lad.
You just didn’t fuck with him, strangers who did, paid. Wrong, he knows it now. But the way it was..
I said to him a few weeks ago “Your anger was just misplaced passion” He started to cry, he is a strong man, he is Hundreds of miles away on an Island, away out the way of society, a society he once ruled and owned. He still would kill, i know he would. Should someone hurt me, my Brothers of Sisters, or the Grandkids or our Partners, he would pick the phone up and get someone murdered. I am guess of course, and perhaps joking, but he still holds this Authority in Edinburgh.
He was well known, but your average man on the street didn’t know him, he was VERY CLEVER, he let idiots do his work and make his money back 30/40/50 years ago. He never brought trouble to our home apart from the trouble he caused. Logic (I hate that word) should tell me to hate him, but He is happy and Mother is happy, so life and people have moved on. He showered me with love, I was his youngest Son, big thigns were expected from me and I left the family to chase my love for Dawn and my Football dream.
http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/06/08/the-football-story-i-never-told/
Had I been anyone else I would not have been allowed to walk away, this is the rule. He said at the time “You go take on the World” He said other things, he was almost hurt, but he didn’t want me to be him, as I was trying to be, so I think deep down he was happy I choose another path that didn’t lead to blood or jail.
I just need to tell the World about a man I love so much, I pine for in my life, I won’t see again, my Son’s know and miss him, my Daughter will know about him when they are older. He is 67 fit as a fiddle, still looks 50 year old, people call him Peter Pan, and in the Photo above you can see why. I am his double people say, but he is my Dad. I have to avoid people to this day because I am his son, but being his son gives me 24/7 protection in my daily life (Hard to explain and I won’t)
Patrick @ http://pifuk67.wordpress.com once posted this for his Dad, Patrick I hope I can post this, I know you won’t mind.
This is for you Dad “Auld Yin, Old One” as we call him 🙂
My love for you will never leave this body, you made me who I am by allowing me to move on, I am thankful for your advice and you allowing me to walk. And for being an amazing Gaga to my sons and for loving Dawn also. I miss you Dad…
Just one last things, 2 year ago, we all visited..
My Dad, he took me a 10 mile walk a few years back, nearly killed me!
This is a question for Word Press, I don’t mean physical pain like my Chronic Pain, I mean pain in ANY form, in any way we can be in pain, through illness, Depression, losing a loved one, just life in general getting you down, how do you come with that daily pain, any human suffering, lets help someone, each other if need be. x x
For me my pain is both Physical and mental, dealing with it is different every day. Some days I manage, some days I put myself into my own personal Shaun bubble and ignore the world, sit at the PC/Laptop, headset on and Listen to music and write blogs, and go on any of the hundreds of sites I visit and just try and focus the pain away
For many others pain can be real also without physical pain, depression, losing a loved one, whatever way life can hurt us, how do we cope? Sadly many don’t, sadly some give in to this pain they can’t take. I have been close myself a few times. Me personally I get into a state of mind where I think “I can’t take this one more day” then I realise this is the easy way out
So how do you cope? Is there an answer to this question? Do we all deal in different ways, I told you how I deal, I just do, and some days I hide myself away and ignore it best I can. Some days the mental pain can be worse, guilt and other emotions.
I know this question may be impossible to answer for some, but, Word Press, I know you can answer, and you, maybe, just maybe, we may be helping someone who is suffering some kind of pain with our answers.
I came here several months ago with this thinking “I will reach out and hope people reach back” And WOW people reached back. So please, reach back here, please, we may help someone, we may help ourselves, if we help one person understand pain or how to deal with it in ANY way pain comes, then it was worth the reply. Just pain or suffering, how do you cope, I hope you can take a second to answer x
Thank you Word Press
More Love, Less Hate
I also ask YOU ALL to accept this Award. No strings attached. You are an extension to my family, just people I may not meet. So please, if you reply to this, I would be honoured if you accept the award. With the reasons given in red. You can accept and give to 10 others or not. The rules are in the link below. I made this award a few months back.
http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/04/21/the-wordpress-family-award/
This is an award for everyone who is part of the “Word Press Family” I start this award on the basis that the WordPress family has taken me in, and showed me love and a caring side only WordPress can. The way people take a second to be nice, to answer a question and not make things a competition amazes me here. I know I have been given many awards, but I wanted to leave my own legacy on here by creating my own award, as many have done before. This represents “Family” we never meet, but are there for us as family. It is my honour to start this award. Thank you, Shaun @ http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/
1985, I was 11 when this event happened. In the UK and the USA
Again, for me, life is defined in Moments, moments we look back at years later and say “WOW” did that really happen. Well yeah, in 1985, the UK and the USA did Live Aid; they both ran at the same time and is still the biggest world musical event to this day. But why did we do this? What was the reason? Well these two songs tell a story, and be warned, the picture at the bottom of the blog is reason enough to try, but today kids and adults are still dying, still things are bad, they are better, but not perfect. Let’s make more moment like this, for humanity and our consciences
Against all odds
Somebody to love
The American people did this, a song I love today, still
This picture should haunt our sleep, should haunt every greedy bastard corporate bastard who makes billions of pounds/dollars as things like this still happen, as a species, if we are lucky, we will be able to look Back to this time, our time with absolute disgust that this BELOW FUCKING HAPPENS!
FUCKING WHY!! All the money on earth and this happens !! NO MORE!! WAKE UP!!
I will let this answer
WE MUST WAKE UP, TIME IS RUNNING OUT…FAST!
What else can I do?
No feeling sorry for Shaun here. Had a hospital appointment at 12:30pm today, just to make sure my left knee was strong enough to do 4 or 5 days a week football. It is not. So I had to call Merchiston FC and say no. They had a rough idea the pain may be too much. I would be letting down the club, 18 kids and 100 parents and family members who pay into this side and support them every week. I would also be letting down Kevin, Brian and Davie my coaches and helpers who I have worked with for years in football
I half expected this to happen. But I had to call it, it was my choice based on letting all these people down. Looking at the scan this morning the hamstring is 60% strong. This is my biceps femoris (Spelling), I had a tear to it 18 months ago, and it almost came away from the knee
So the gamble was too much, pain was too much, so the dream dies. I just can’t do the thing I love best in the world. My appetite for life, breathing, walking the dog, smiling, has gone. I don’t even know if I can blog again. I am shattered, this was worst case scenario here, and it happened. I can’t describe how I feel. It’s not anger, its self pity in a way that I already knew this would happen “Told you so Shaun” type thinking. Alistair, the Dr I deal with for my pain had a real go at my leg today and he left me screaming and swelling appeared also when he was done. I asked “Football, yes or no” He said “You can give it a try, but that hamstring is only just over half on” It is right behind my left knee, I can feel the burn now. A burning pain from where the Dr bent it always to see of the damage at knitted back together, once we seen the scan, I just knew, my head dropped and so did my Dr’s, well the lad I have dealt with for over 10 years with this knee. We both knew what this meant
So what now? Sit and feel sorry for myself? Give up? I don’t know. This was my dream, this was my thing. Think of something in your life you LOVE. It could be a stupid game to walking dogs to sex games to playing Tennis to the most mundane thing in the world, if you enjoy doing it, it is “Your thing” This was mine, it was also my wage had I went on for a few years.
I have no idea what to do, I am numb, I can’t think, I can’t look at anyone, I can’t answer my phone, I can only sit here at a place I call home. My computer, HOW FUCKING SAD A LIFE I HAVE, really my life consists of sitting at a PC all day. I have every kids of PC/Laptop/Tablet known to man. This is all I can do. I can’t do fuck all else. Sitting watching a movie these days is hard to get comfy and keep my mind on the story. Reading my book is becoming harder as I lost focus on the story as mind wanders
I think deep down I knew I was going to have to do this blog, I had actually sat last week, the week before, yesterday, last night, many times thinking “How will I react if I can’t do this” And here I am. To some just a stupid football team with kids. To me, working with some of the most talented kids in Scotland at this age level at a club whose ambitions were nearly as big as mine
Well football, it wasn’t to be, so I wave you goodbye, thanks for the memories, I had terrific times with you, memories other would DIE FOR
After winning a Treble (3 Trophies) This was the 3rd one..
The days….In stadiums and winning. Gone
League winners the week after winning the cup, the “Double” was ours
Cup winners with the Adult side I owned and ran and managed
The winning penalty to get us to our 2nd Final, a superb memory for me and the kid and his parents
The day we won the league title. Brilliant day. My oldest Daughter was born two days before this
My Partner had never missed a game, she couldn’t make this one with the baby, this is my son, he scored 3 as we won 4-0 to win the league, his mum said “Do it for your Sister” And he delivered. A personal moment for me and my family this
Words from the Match sponsor and myself, I am there in the middle picture somewhere, crowd behind us
If I can give my team this experience, then I will be happy, this was my last kids side, Fernieside
As I progressed through the ranks, I got a national Scottish coaching nomination, again, a moment!
I took this group of kids to a Double winning season, capped off with a final at the home of a Professional football team, a REAL stadium, about 4,000 were there on the day
Allowing these kids to sample the big time was important, so we arrived early and let them tour the stadium
A picture from the daily paper from the game
My first ever team 13 years or so ago now, all these kid are 19/20 years old now, but this is where it begun
Again my first team, I had them WANTING to win at this age, but enjoyment was everything
NOW MY FOCUS TURNS TO THE BELOW:
My dog Lisha
Courtney and Chloe
The mother of my kids
Mum
mY 2 Sons
Dawn without make up, lol
Fun with the kids
And finally, this struggle
Music, we all like it, and I do post my fair share, many peaople share more songs to us, brilliant songs posted by people who were touched by the message the song gave, it is all in the lyrics, a feeling that the song is yours, wrote for you almost, as if the person writing it knew the exact emotion the song would give you. It might be a song from years ago, it might have meaning to anything from all of time, but we all have one song, over any other that has personal meaning to us. I am the same, I have posted 100 + songs here and said a million times, like many I love music
I have a song. It is VERY powerful, so some it is rubbish, but to me this song gives me meaning to something that happened in my life, a moment in history, a moment that made me look for a song and I found it. This was years ago, the song is newer than the event, but when I heard the song it made me think and it made sense to something in a way I just can’t explain you know. I just can’t find the words to describe “Why, over all the songs in the world, this song touched me the most” I have no idea. But that is the beauty right? Whatever your song is, you don’t need words to describe it because the song it explains itself to you. And others may hate the song, but who cares, this is YOUR song. This is my song, for my reasons I must and always will keep to myself. But I don’t have to explain it as the song explains it, that is a beautiful thing I beleive, my song is powerful and with meaning to me
The Lyrics speak to your soul, the moment of the song touches our heart, our mind is taken to a place only a song could take us. This is the beauty of Music
Having little 2 little girls, as me and partner did, 4 years ago on Saturday for my oldest Daughter Courtney and 3 years at the end of July for my youngest Daughter Chloe was an amazing thing, the love these 2 bundles of joy have given us all has been nothing short of a miracle
They have both taught me more about myself, life and love than any 2 little people could ever do. Only something a Daddy could know. I have done a few blogs on Mums lately, and it got me thinking. I suffer from Chronic Pain Syndrome and it hurts me badly inside I can’t be Daddy all the time. I feel like old frail Granddad some days. I am in so much pain I just can’t play the throwing up in the air game at all and if I try the whole family worries, so I had to stop, the medication I am trying to stop, period, does not help, when on full medication Daddy is not Daddy, he hides away in shame
I can hold them and cuddle them, but little girls want to be throw in the air by Daddy and run at Daddy and jump on him. Some days I let them run all over me and jump on me and use me as a trampoline and a punching bag, it leaves me in pain, but a good pain, a worthwhile pain
Not being able to be Daddy destroys me to my core and upsets me more than the pain I suffer on a daily basis. The thought of “Were we right to have two babies” has came into our thoughts, but we didn’t know the pain was going to get as bad, and we rubbish this thought quicker than it entered our heads. I am speaking about Mummy and I here, I would not change a thing, and I just pray every day that god takes my pain so I can be Daddy, why doesn’t he answer? It is his will on me? Is he testing me? I have been tested, I beg you God, let me be Daddy before they become too old to want to be thrown in the air, I beg you God, I hope you can hear me, I ask every day, maybe tomorrow?
The more I sit here upset the more I want to just be Daddy and go through the pain, and I do some days, I just think “To hell with this” and let them hurt my body. They are 2 and 4 years old, they don’t understand Daddy is sore; my 4 year old is starting to notice things. They can’t pray to God, so here I am God. I am pleading with you to take my pain away so two little princess girls can play with Daddy, in the same way their friends can. Will you answer my call on their behalf? I will ask tomorrow.
I am thankful for having them in my life, for the joy they bring, for the light they bring to my darkness for the care they give me when they cuddle into Daddy to watch the Smurfs. I am thankful for all the moments I have had and will have, but I just want to be regular Daddy. I have had Dawn and many more tell me I am, but I don’t feel so. I get told not to be silly, I don’t think I am being silly.
I love as much as a person could, believe me on this one, I care as much as a person could, believe me. I pray sometimes and ask God to keep all my kids fit and healthy. They are loved, they get attention and all their grandparents spoil them also, as do their big brothers with their little sisters
But I want to be more than the Daddy I am, so for now, I will smile and be thankful for the blessings that I have. I say this often when I blog like this that Guilt follows. Some have lost their kids, I have mine, so I feel guilty for wanting a little more. Guilt comes to many people who have Pain in the way I have. I speak to hundreds who have this or Fibro and the constant theme is one of guilt. We moan while others have more to moan about or have less than we do
But I think to sum up here, being in pain, having a messed up mind, being on medication that could knock out a giraffe is hard. But others I know have it worse, so again with the guilt. I don’t want pity, I know God won’t answer my prayers today or tomorrow, I know I will never be able to throw them in the air, I have accepted it. By accepting this, I hurt myself, I get all sensitive and in touch with my feminine side I am told. But we all have a heart, I use mine. I just want more. Am I being greedy? Should I feel guilty and frown? Some days I know the answer, some days I don’t.
But, they will always be Daddy’s little girls x
PLEASE!! This is not a feel sorry for anyone blog, I am blogging what life is, what we all go through. This is my blog and my thinking
Yesterday I found out my Mum has the same illness my Aunt has, and it killing my Aunt, My Mum is scared. She has had a hard life, but recently she met a man who gives her all the love she needs and more, well a few year back now. He is an amazing man, he is more of a father to me than my own
My Mum had me when she was 15, at the same time my Dad handed her 3 more kids, my Brothers and sisters from my Dads 1st marriage. So my Mum, aged 15 had 4 kids. I admire her more and more each day, looking back at this blog I did http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/04/29/growing-up-with-a-criminal-family/
I think we both suffered and only now we are coming to a way of being as one. I love my Mum more than she knows, well maybe. I know her love for me and my little sister is unconditional and if I could go back I would un-say things and undo things I said to her, my Mum
I hurt her more times than I care to say, but she loves me all the times I was in the media for football and I grew up and was doing good at football, she loves me and was proud of me and couldn’t wait to show the world how her son is in the daily news paper, through all this I knew she was proud of me
And yesterday she left the house I fell to the floor in tears, maybe guilt? I think there was some guilt, but more so I looked back in time, and I know I shouldn’t and I looked at what she went through from my bastard of a father and every day I wish I can go back to when I was 14 and tell my Dad to stop hurting her. I once trashed my Dads 20,000 sports car with a baseball bat, he was “The big man” I couldn’t fight him, but I had to tell him “Leave my Mum alone” And this was the only way I could
I wanted to protect my Mum from that day to this, this was 20 years ago, but we had kids, my partner and I, My Mum has found love now, she is truly happy, but now just as she is happy, she is told she is ill. So unfair, I can’t write here for stupid tears and snot, it has upset me more than I can write, but she is loved and in a big way, she has 9 brothers and sisters and they all care, I pulled myself out of that family, as I felt I was the son of the Bastard who did this to her, My Dad, I thought my Mums family, my Aunts and Uncles looked at me as I was my dad, maybe they did, maybe they didn’t
There is a LOT more to this story, but for now I just want to say a 8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning
I love you
Mum, if you are reading this, and I know you read some of these, I love you with all my heart and being and I hurt as you do today, today our hearts feel the same. Thank you for talking to me this morning, we went through some stuff, thank you for bringing me into this world for protecting me, for loving me and these days, teaching me still, I do listen
I love you x
Anyone with Chronic Pain Syndrome should be able to understand here. Sleeping patterns, they are awful and just when you think you have found a routine to sleep, like a normal person, along comes the pain and leaves you in agony and unable to sleep
I go through this every week, for months, for years now, I am past making it annoy me I guess I have accepted it, but it still depresses me. I have not been told I am clinically depressed, some people just get depressed once in a while, happens to the best of us yeah?
I personally seem to go through a pattern of 4 days. An example of this week below
Sunday – Good sign, I was asleep just before midnight and up before 09:00 am!
Monday – Sleeping for 23:00 and awake at 07:30 with the kids = Superb
Tuesday – Fell asleep at 22:00 and was up and showered for 07:30 am all told
Wednesday – Fell asleep at 22:00 again, and was up with my Daughters at 08:00 am
Thursday – Tonight…………NOTHING
Friday – As I type it is 04:05 and I am in agony, tonight it is my left hip, it feels locked, it feels like I have a fracture or a break, I just can’t move it. So 1 Diazepam, 1 Dihydrocodeine and 1 Tramadol later and lashings of Voltaren Gel and the pain has reduced a whopping 10% or so
See this is just one of 100 things about Chronic Pain. The pain is the main show in town, but all these small side effects, issues due to pain and medication, or lack of medication, or too much medication, having to take more medication because of the medication you are on, sleep, making plans, going out for a meal for example is near on impossible for me, visiting family and friends, going to the shops, going to the bathroom, showering or bathing to getting dressed and all in-between are a REAL issue
So not only are you in pain, you are miserable due to all the things that come with this invisible disability people discriminate against every day, WHY? You ask. Well if you are not in a wheelchair coming out of your car in a disabled parking bay you are a cheat and lair to people watching on, yeah these sad people who are perfect and have a perfect life. I am joking of course, these people are so sad and miserable they go about pointing others issues out to distract from their own problems. Why is this relevant you ask, well it is because it is all part of the issue. Pain is the tip of a very big iceberg afloat at Sea for people with Chronic Pain, and tiny problems become monster problems
I would not wish this crap on my worst enemy, if I had an enemy. I don’t keep enemies, they can keep me, you are on your own, so I would not wish this on a Dog or a Cat or any other Animal. It is truly the most difficult way to live, especially when 99% of us had a pain free childhood, and knew a life where there was no pain, we could do anything, like anybody, but the pain comes and it is like all over body toothache. This is the best way I can describe this pain, all over body toothache feeling
It could be worse, and I know it could be, but right this second, I am done, I had a slight argument with an Admin on a cracking Social Media site tonight, and I think perhaps this played a part. As many with Chronic Pain will testify, a STUPID debate or one wrong word can set you off into the land of stress, sadly for us, Stress = more pain, then worrying about the pain leads to more pain, this in-turn leads to a depression type feeling, yeah, you got it, leading to more pain and due to one medication I have the memory of the stupidest goldfish in the class 🙂
I am on the path looking for God at the moment, and sadly times like this I ask “Why God” and I hear people say “God works in mysterious ways” or “It is Gods way of helping you become a better person” And if the truth be told, living like this gives you a sense of caring. But God, if you are listening. I care, I have learnt my lesson, I am done, can you please stop? Can you realise that I am not happy to learn this? I am not happy with this Mystery God. I respect your ways God, I do, but not this way I don’t! 14 years of pain getting worse as I approach age 40. I have had enough God. No saying or religious meaning at this second will help me understand why you put me in all this pain. I am not a Buddhist that I know off. So please God, whatever your plan is for me, can I ask you re-think the plan? Because this is HELL to me. I talk to you, reach to you, I have done for many years, but the pain still comes. If you are trying to build my character, God I have character. Please, enough! I beg. Let me live with less pain so I can be a regular Husband and Father and go back to having some sort of life.
I don’t ask for much. In-fact I don’t pray for much, this is a sick joke now, but that is the pain talking. I just want to be regular and normal and sleep like the rest of the inhabitants in the GMT -/+0 Time Zone. As things stand I am Australian one week, and from the West Coast of the USA the next with a hint of GMT time thrown in for good measure 😦
Please God
I am deeply sorry for anyone who suffer as I do, it blows
prayingforoneday 